Scott and Stacey

It's official, my little brother is married. Scott married his sweetheart Stacey on September 2, 2011. It was a perfect day. And although everyone is so happy for him, it seems a little sad to have the baby of the family married off already. It seems like he just got home from his mission! But I know him and Stacey are going to be so happy.

The morning of their wedding was overcast and rainy, but by the time they came out of the temple the weather was perfect. The ceremony was beautiful and so special as Stacey's Grandmpa sealed them. I was pretty emotional throughout the whole thing...these pregnancy hormones didn't help! Stacey was teary through most of it, so everytime I looked at her I couldn't help but cry! it was too much for me.

It was such a special day! We are so excited to have a new member of our family. We love you both!

Stacey's dress was gorgeous! I loved it!

Much love to you both!

30 weeks

It's getting a little painful for me to post these belly pics! i made caleb take like twenty pictures of me and still didn't have one i liked...so here you go!

Things are still going well. My feet and ankles if you can tell are getting very swollen. It doesn't really hurt, but they just feel tight a lot of the time. This is one reason I'm grateful to be pregnant during the summer...flip flops and sandals! I'm not sure my feet would fit into anything else at this point.

Only a couple of months left to go and we get to meet our baby! I will be done work in about four weeks hopefully. It will be nice to have a bit of a break because I haven't been sleeping very well lately.

It has been becoming a bit more real to me. I am feeling the baby move all the time now, and sometimes I feel like I can pick out body parts. I will feel a little foot or knee pushing on me, and if we push back he will start to push against our hand. That has been so fun! It makes it seem a lot more real, there is actually a little person in there!

His room is coming along slowly but surely. Our sister in law generously gave us a change table, which we have been painting white. We actually found the crib that I was wanting to get in the states at walmart up here! It's of course $40.00 more, but still pretty reasonable. I'm excited to have everything set up and ready to go!

I think I'm getting to the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy. I am feeling new aches and pains and I'm feeling huge. But it is more than worth it!

Only a couple more months to go!

Brother's Adventure

Bear tracks.

Baby Update

This is me at 27 weeks...a 30 week picture will be coming soon!
My face is looking awfully puffy in this pic!

Yesterday morning Caleb and I went to our appointment with our midwife. We did all the usual stuff, she measured my belly and my measurement is right on. Hooray! One thing I love about my midwives is they never weigh me. :) I guess I should be happy that they aren't too concerned about my weight. Our midwife (Carol) found the baby's head and he is head down with his back against my back. I'm relieved to know he's at least head down because I can not tell at all what position he is in! I thought for the longest time that he was sideways. Turns out he must just have long arms and legs because I get kicked from all angles. She told Caleb where to put his hands to feel the head, and then she let me do it, but I was too freaked out to push too hard! I didn't want to hurt his little head...so i didn't feel too much. But Caleb said that it felt like a bubble.

I was anxiously waiting for my gestational diabetes results. I went in for the test a couple weeks ago. The drink was not as bad as everyone said it was going to be, but I did feel nauseous and so tired soon after I drank it. When the nurse was taking my blood she asked if I had low blood pressure, i said no i didn't, but that I might pass out! I am not a fan of having my blood taken as I get pretty queasy, but this is the closest I have ever been to passing out during it. I was able to go home and get in a really quick nap before I went back to work which helped a bit. I got the results yesterday and I passed! I was so nervous about it, because I didn't know if I could handle a second test, and have to fast for it. So that was a big relief. I also still don't have syphilis! ha! They are making everyone retest for it....not sure why. Pretty sure if I had syphilis I would know...and I would have to do some explaining to Caleb. :)

We listened to baby's heartbeat and everything sounded great. She asked about us taking prenatal classes and we told her that we had been doing hypnobirthing. Carol said that is perfect as a prenatal class and she has had clients in the past use it and do very well in their labour. She said that our mind and thoughts have a lot to do with how labour goes and progresses, everything else is pretty much out of our control. So if we can control our minds, it sometimes helps things go a lot more smoothly. Here's hoping it will work for me! I feel i need a lot more practice with it.

Apparently I have "white coat syndrome". Carol said when I'm there my blood pressure goes up a bit. Hopefully I can get over that for the birth!

All in all things are going great. I can't believe I only have 10 weeks left! The time is flying by!! We still have some work to do on the nursery...we still need a crib! Any Moms have recommendations for things that we will need? I know baby's don't need much, but I'm lost as to what I should be getting ready ahead of time. I'm hoping to end work at the end of September to have some time to get the house ready, make freezer meals, and get some sleep in before it's too late!

We can't wait to meet you baby!

Wicked

Quite a few months ago Caleb and I bought tickets to go see the broadway show Wicked. A friend of mine got a giant group of people together to buy tickets so we could get the group rate. I had to get in on it. I haven't read the book...i really wanted to before we went! But Caleb has, and i had heard such great things about the show.

Beforehand we went for dinner at a french restaraunt called Saint Germain. I had a groupon for it, so it was a great chance to use it up. Caleb had duck, i had a steak...i admit i was bad and had it pretty rare, but it was so delicious i couldn't send it back...i just kept eating. We also had fries and mayo to share. It was a fantastic and delicious dinner.

The show was amazing! We had great seats, and the show went by so quickly, it was over before i knew it. The woman that played Glinda was hilarious! We were laughing throughout the whole show. Only complaint is that the theatre was super hot for some reason! Which was not fun for this pregnant lady.

Although it's difficult for me to post the following pictures, i'm going to swallow my pride and do it. I am looking just a tiny bit more chubby than ususal. :)

It was a fantastic date night!

27 weeks!

I am 27 weeks pregnant today. 7 months, and only three left to go! I would take a belly picture, but Caleb is away in vernon still...maybe tomorrow? I realized I haven't documented too much about my pregnancy, and thought that i should in case some day I want to look back and remember all this!

I can't believe how fast the time has flown. It is hard to imagine that in three months we will have a little baby...really how do you wrap your head around that? I am feeling this little guy move so much lately. From the first time I felt him move it has always been very strong kicks, he's got some muscles! His movements have been so strong that sometimes they startle me and make me jump! I love laying in bed with caleb with his hand on my belly and having him feel the baby move...not much is better than that. He is much more active when i want to sleep! But I hear that's pretty normal.

A few weeks ago I have started to get some pain in my upper ribs. I am convinced it's not him kicking me because the pain is up so high, I think it must be things in my body shifting around. the pain is worse if i'm sitting down for long periods of time, which has made work a bit difficult. My feet and ankles have also started swelling! they look awful!! Hopefully it's not permanent!

Probably the craziest thing has been seeing my belly button change. I have always had a very deep innie, and to actually be able to see the bottom of my belly button has been so strange! I seriously comment on it all the time and I think Caleb must think I'm crazy.

I have gained quite a bit of weight...i've stopped weighing myself because I don't think I need the unecessary psychological damage of seeing the number on the scale. I have to admit i probably have been eating a lot more than I need to. Gaining the weight has probably been one of the most difficult parts for me, but definitely is worth it, and I have to keep telling myself that I can loose the weight after...so i need to stop worrying about it! Right?

Caleb has been amazing. So supportive and helpful. Always picking things up off the floor for me, :) getting me glasses of water, and taking over a lot of the housework. I appreciate his help so much. He never complains about it either. He is always talking to the baby and rubbing my belly. When he goes away he says that he will miss me, but he'll also miss the baby. I love that he's already so involved.

Caleb and I also decided to take hypnobirthing courses. I have wanting been researching the positives to a natural childbirth long before I was pregnant, and it's something I feel will be best for me. These courses have helped me to feel more confident in my ability to do so. For more info check out this link.
Caleb says it has been really helpful for him in feeling less fearful about the experience of birth, and it has been great for me as well. It's refreshing to be able to talk about childbirth, and take out the idea of fear, and not having to hear all the horror stories that people love to share. I still have a lot of practice to do with my relaxation techniques, but i'm hoping the course will help me through the birthing process.

Overall, this has been such an amazing experience. I can't quite wrap my head around the idea that there is actually a little baby in my stomach! I already love him so much, and am getting so excited to meet him!
We love you baby!

Babymoon

Caleb and I both love to travel.
His job has given us many amazing opportunities to do so. With me being pregnant and all, we will probably have less chances to get away as just the two of us in the near future. While I was still at work part-time, it worked us for us to do a last minute get away. We went to a resort in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. I went to the MTC there, but had never gotten to experience the beaches! It was our first time doing all inclusive, and it was well worth it! It was such a relaxing trip, not having to worry about anything. The weather was hot and perfect, and it was so nice to get away and relax. Babymoon success!

Windsurfing was actually one of the free activities at the resort. I didn't go obviously, but Caleb got a lesson and although he said it was really difficult I thought he did pretty well!

Most of our time was spent between the pool and the beach. We had to wake up early to get spots by the pool in the shade, but it was well worth it as we would have burnt to a crisp without them! Our main activities were reading, swimming, and going to the grill by the buffet for delicious chicken!

We usually went to this bar while waiting to get into whichever restaurant we had chosen that night. They had a buffet and four different restaurants, french, asian, american steakhouse, and italian, and they didn't do reservations for them so we usually we waiting for a bit if we didn't get there early. We had the same server who would make us these delcious non-alcoholic drinks because I told her I was pregnant. Yum!!

Us at the asian restaurant.

We also spent a lot of time eating Mangoes! We had to get them early, because later in the day they would all be gone. Soooooooo delicious!

Taking out the catamarans was also free. I was a little freaked out to take it out, but felt reassured when we went out and the water stayed very shallow. It was so fun! I guess we only had half an hour, which they failed to tell us, so we brought it back late. Oops!!

We had an amazing time! Only complaint is that I wish it was longer! Thanks baby for giving us a reason to go on vacation!

Pink or Blue?

Excuse me while I catch up!
We had our first ultrasound at 13 weeks, and then another scheduled for 18 weeks. At 18 weeks they are able to predict the sex of the baby, and I had known from the start that I wanted to know. I don't think I could have handled not knowing the whole time! Caleb was happy with whatever I decided and jumped on board.
We had a really cute plan for how we wanted to find out. A friend of ours told us about this great idea. She knew a couple who had the ultrasound tech write down the sex on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope for them. They then went shopping and picked out a girl outfit and a boy outfit, without looking in the envelope. They took both outfits to the till and asked the clerk to look in the envelope and wrap up the appropriate outfit without telling them. They then went to dinner and opened the outfit together to find out what they were having.
When I heard this story I have to admit I cried! And I thought it would be so fun for us to do.

On Friday morning we headed to the hospital for our ultrasound. It was a long one as the tech was checking everything, and was taking a lot of pictures...which did worry me a bit, but what doesn't! So at the end she asks us if we want to know the sex, and we say yes but i asked her if she could write it down for us. Well our dreams were crushed when she told us that legally she wasn't able to! So our plan B was just to have her tell us. Our baby wasn't shy and she told us "as you can see, it's clearly a boy." It was not at all clear to us! But we trusted she knew what she was looking at, and I still do worry that maybe she didn't and she was wrong! Please someone reassure me!! Although people always have stories for me where the tech was wrong!!

I was a bit shocked to hear it was a boy. Everyone in both our families guessed girl...except for my Mom when she changed her mind right before we told her. She's always right. :) I did have my heart set on making little bows and flowers for a girl, but now I am so excited to be having a little boy!

Here's me the day of our ultrasound at 18 weeks.

And we did go shopping afterwards anyways! We also had a delcious lunch at Moxie's to celebrate. Here are the adorable purchases.

We can't wait to meet you baby!!


Post-edit

I forgot to add that Caleb had a gift to give me after our first ultrasound. What an amazing thoughtful husband I have! I had told Caleb about a children's book I wanted to find a while back. It was a book I never actually owned as a child, but checked out of the library over and over. I looked for it online, but found out it was out of print. I found a couple used copies for sale, but forgot then kind of forgot about it.

After the ultrasound Caleb gave me this book:

It brought back so many memories! And it's even funnier than I remember. The hampster's name is Mustapha Biscuit...hilarious! My Dad still brings up this book and whenever we are eating Biscuits it comes up. This book took me right back to my childhood and I can't wait to share it with our child!

Where it all Began

I thought I would blog about this before it all slips my mind.
Here's where it all began...with these two little tests.

Actually it all began in May of last year. We were on a trip to Utah visiting one of my best friends/former mission companion. We had decided to start trying a month prior to the trip, and I was pretty sure my period was late. I had already taken a test before the trip that came out negative, and left me pretty sad. Caleb was hesitant to have me take another one, as I was so sad after the previous test. I convinced him and at a trip to target we picked one up. We waited until we were back at Rachelle's sisters house to take it later that evening. I took it, set it on the counter and remember just sitting there staring at it. A second line appeared, and i have to admit I was pretty shocked! Only a month of trying and we were pregnant! I told Caleb to come into the bathroom and told him. We were both so excited and anxious at the same time. We told our friend Rachelle and we all celebrated the good news.

I went to the doctor to have the pregnancy confirmed when we got home, and after that called our families to share the news. Our baby was due December 27th, 2010. A few weeks later on a visit to Lethbridge I had started spotting and cramping. I looked up miscarriage symptoms in the book I got at the Doctors, and was getting pretty scared. I told my Mom and my sister and they reassured me that some spotting could be normal. I tried to reassure myself that everything would be ok, and we headed out on our drive home. I was still cramping pretty badly on the way home, but tried not to think about it. One part of this drive will always stick out in my mind. We stopped halfway to get something to eat at A&W. It was raining, and we ate in the car. Caleb and I were laughing and talking. Caleb looked at me and said "this is a moment I will remember for the rest of my life." I felt so much love from him in that moment and I will never forget it.

Once we got home, my bleeding got heavier and I instantly broke down. I knew in that moment what was happening. I called health link and the nurse advised me to go to the emergency room. Our experience at the ER was less than ideal. We spent a total of 16 hours there...overnight. They put an IV in my arm which was so painful, took a lot of blood, and took my blood pressure a lot. I would try to lay down and sleep for a bit on the chairs in the waiting room just to get called back again, and to again have no progress made in my diagnosis. We saw a million different nurses, a couple doctors, all of whom kept asking me the same questions over and over. It was such a horrible experience. They eventually sent us home for three hours to sleep, and then told us to come back early in the morning for an ultrasound.

We went back, waiting around again for the ultrasound. I remember laying there on that bed trying to look at the screen and trying to figure out what was going on. They sent us back to wait again and were finally seen by a doctor. He was actually , very sympathetic, and broke us the sad news. We had lost the baby. It was Mother's Day.

I was lucky enough to take the next couple weeks off work, and really barely left the house. The healing process was difficult and seemed to take forever. It was so hard on both me and Caleb. It's still hard, and I still often think and wonder about that little baby I lost.

We were advised to wait a bit before trying again. We waited a couple months, and I knew the best thing for me would to be pregnant again as soon as possible. I hadn't expected it to be anything but easy, because it only took us a month last time.

Month after month went by...and I started to get more and more worried. I worried myself crazy and was so depressed and couldn't understand why I wasn't getting pregnant. 8 months went by, and with them came a lot of negative pregnancy tests, and a lot of tears. I was tracking my cycles religiously, so if i was at all late i knew it.

I wasn't quite late, but it was the first day I could take a pregnancy test...and it was on my mind...as it was all the time of late. I waited until the morning to take it. I was scheduled to work late that day, and Caleb was already at school. I took the test and didn't look at it for a while, fearing the worst. I went back and saw one line...and then one other faint line. I instantly broke into tears...and then I figured it must be wrong. It was so light...it had to be wrong. I googled myself silly, and came to the conclusion that false positives are rare and almost never happen. I put the test in a ziplock bag and it might sound crazy, but i took it to work with me. I kept it in my desk drawer and had to look at it every 15 minutes. I just couldn't believe it was real...and at this point I really didn't believe it. I had to work my whole shift until I could get home and tell Caleb what was going on.

I came home, and asked him to come look at something. I gave him the pregnancy test...he studied it for a minute, and then looked at me and said "you're not pregnant." He wasn't as well versed in pregnancy tests as I was. :) I told him it meant that I was...at least I thought I was. We hugged and I cried, but were still hesitant. I felt robbed of the whole experience this time. I wanted so badly just to be so excited and not worry...but the worst case scenerio just lingered in the back of my mind. Caleb was hesitant too.

I took another test in the morning and it looked similar. We told our family a few days later. My Mom instantly broke into tears...and so did I. She was so happy....and so I was, but I was still so anxious. I went to the doctor a few weeks later to have it confirmed.

It took a while for it to all sink in, and it finally did. I was still so worried, and was so anxious for our first ultrasound at 13 weeks. I was preparing for the worst. It was so relieving and amazing to see that little baby on the screen, and when the tech finally showed us the heartbeat i was able to relax a bit. It all became more real and more exciting. I was really sick this time, which was horrible, but reassuring as well.

We actually bought a doppler second hand, which was the best purchase ever. It really put my mind at ease to be able to hear that little heartbeat each night before I went to bed. I think the moment when i was able to truly relax and enjoy this pregnancy and when I was able to feel him move. I absolutely love feeling him kick and move around, and it often brings me to tears.

Although we went through some sorrow to get to this point, I feel like it has really helped me be so grateful to be a mother. I have never taken this experience for granted, and have tried my best not to complain, because I know there are so many others who would do anything to trade places with me. I still have anxieties and fears, but for now I am trying my best just to enjoy this experience while I have it. I love having this sweet little baby growing inside me, and I am getting so excited to meet him! I honestly can not wait. I know that motherhood comes with many challenges, but I feel like I will be able to face them with confidence, knowing that I wanted this so badly. I know that the greater the pain we experience, the greater our capacity to feel joy. I know I will feel such joy when I get to meet this sweet little person face to face that I already love so much.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."
1 Samuel 1:27

We are so blessed, and I will never forget it.