My Breastfeeding Journey

*Disclaimer: This post contains the words, boob, nipple, and breast. :)

Although I haven't yet gotten to the point where breastfeeding is easy or even painless, I thought I should write this post while I'm still in the thick of it rather than later, so I can look back and really remember what this was like. Also hopefully I might be able to help someone who is struggling with my story.

Before I ever started breastfeeding, I was always perplexed by the breast is best campains I saw all the time. I always thought...well obviously. Why wouldn't I breastfeed? I really didn't understand why people wouldn't, unless they had medical reasons not to. It just seemed like if you could...well of course you would do it! That was before I was flung into the breastfeeding world...and all the problems and struggles that go a long with it. I had no idea about mastitis, thrush, plugged ducts, nipple confusion, latching issues, cracked nipples. I pretty much just thought you put the baby up by your boob and away you went. I had no idea what was waiting for me.



I feel my journey began at 37 weeks pregnant. I had a check up with my midwives where they test to see if I am strep B positive. The next week they told me that I was in fact positive, and that I had the option of getting treated with antibiotics during labor. I asked them of the risks of not having the antibiotics. They told me there was a small chance, but if the bacteria was passed to my baby there was a risk of him getting very sick. I asked what the risks were of having the antibiotics. My midwife Wendy said there was a risk of getting thrush, which is a yeast infection in your breasts. At this point I had no idea what thrush was and Wendy didn't really make it seem like a big deal. I chose the antibiotics as having a sick baby seemed awful, and if I could prevent it I would.



After laboring for 36 hours, I needless to say had a lot of antibiotics put in my system. I don't know how many bags I had...but I know it must have been quite a few. After Lucas was born he was put to my breast to feed by Wendy as soon as we could, and it seemed like he latched on without any problems. It was amazing to see his instincts in action. In the hospital Lucas did not feed very often, which is common in brand new babies. But it seemed like when he did he would fall asleep, or keep coming off. I had many nurses come in and try to help me with feeding him. Things did not seem to be going very well. One night with a particularly horrible nurse on staff, we had to end up giving him a bottle of formula. I couldn't get him latched on, he was crying and hungry, I was crying as well. The nurse was not helpful at all. We called Wendy and she said that the most important thing was getting him fed...so we did the best way we could in that moment.





When we brought Lucas home my midwives were over every day for a few days. I don't know what I would have done without them. I was still struggling to get Lucas latched on. He would get on, scrunch up his face and then pop off. It took hours to feed him, and most times we were both in tears. It was so horribly frustrating. Things would go well when the midwives were over, but when left to my own devices things did not go so great. I was an emotional mess, and so stressed out all the time. There were times when Lucas and I could just not get things figured out so we would finger feed him. Which was also time consuming and stressful. I was also in a lot of pain when I was able to feed him.



About a week after Lucas' birth the pain was almost too much to bear. Wendy was over and I told her that my nipples felt like they were burning. I asked if that was due to a bad latch...she said no. Babil our student midwife showed up. Wendy asked her, "Kailey said that her nipples are burning...what do you think is going on." She replied, "it's thrush." At the time I had no idea how much those two words would impact my life for the coming months.



Wendy advised me to get some Canesten, and to use that for the next week. She said if things didn't get better within a few days to call them. I started with the treatment and although it gave me a bit of relief...I was still in so much pain. I would have to sit with Lucas on my lap before I fed him and psyche myself up for a bit. I had to tell myself "I can do this...I can do this". When I put him on it was absolute toe curling pain. I would yelp in pain, cry throughout the whole thing, and my whole body was tense and rigid. I felt like I had glass in my nipples, and the pain was searing. I was totally preoccupied and stressed out. After I fed Lucas the only thing I could think about is when he would be hungry next and I felt absolute dread just thinking about it. I think I probably cried for a month straight. Coupled with being sleep deprived, and the emotions you go through after having a baby...I felt like a zombie. There were many nights when Lucas was brand new that Caleb and I would finger feed him. A lot of times the pain and stress were too much to bear, so I would pump, we would put the milk in a little syringe with a tube attached, he would suck on our little finger and at the same time get milk. This was very time consuming, but it apparently would help him to not develop nipple confusion...and he needed help with is latch. It also gave me a much needed break. Sometimes it was just all too much for me.

A few days after using the Canesten I still had horrible pain. I called the midwives back, they phoned in a prescription for Nyastatin for Lucas and I. I started taking it immediately...and still didn't feel much relief. I called Carol my midwife and told her I was still in so much pain. She said I needed to give the medication a few more days. I burst into tears....she said she would call in another prescription for me, this time for diflucan. I was prescribed two weeks of diflucan both for me and Lucas. I was told that this would take care of it for sure. It was the strongest drug they had to fight the thrush. I did get some relief from the diflucan, and because i was told that it for sure was going to work...I think I kind of just believed it did.

After six weeks we were discharged from the care of my midwives. It was so hard. I no longer had someone a phone call away. Or someone who at the drop of a hat would come by and help me feed Lucas. I was scared. Throughout this whole ordeal my midwives and other supports told me that this will get better....it will get easier...and when it does you will be so glad you stuck with it...things will not be this bad forever. That is what kept me going. Deep down I knew if I gave up I would regret it...and i just couldn't live with that. So I kept going.

At the time I had developed some cracks. Breastfeeding was still very painful...so I had it boiled down to a bad latch, since everyone told me the thrush would be gone. I reached out for support. I saw two different lactation consultants at the breastfeeding clinic. I know some women have found them extremely helpful..i however did not. The first one just kind of threw a nipple shield at me without really talking to me about much. I called my midwives about it. Luba said to not feel guilty about using it...which I did....and that I was a great candidate for it's use since I had an oversupply. I used it for a few days. Lucas hated it, and so did I. Even with the shield it was still painful, and I didn't feel it was helping me heal. So I stopped using it. I went back and saw a different lactation consultant. The only thing she was concerned about was my oversupply, and wanted me to try and decrease it so Lucas could feed easier. She showed me a position to use which had his head totally turned...I knew that couldn't be good. So i gave up on the clinic.

I researched on the Internet like crazy. I talked to friends who had had problems as well, I called someone from La Leche League. I was so frustrated and I just wanted someone to tell me what was going on. Why was I in pain...why were my nipples so cracked and getting worse? I read all about latch and worked hard on trying to do it right...but something was still wrong.

At about three months I saw a retired lactation nurse in Lethbridge at the advice of one of my friends. Her name is Lana. It was close to Christmas so I wasn't sure if she would see us, but she did, and when we arrived I could tell she was passionate about helping breastfeeding mothers. She spent over an hour with us. Looking at Lucas, asking about his birth story, and watching me feed him. At the end she said his latch looked pretty good...a couple things could be tweaked and worked on. She also said that she thought I still had thrush, and that's why my cracks weren't healing. She told me I needed to be on Diflucan for at least 28 days or the treatment wouldn't work. She showed us a reference in a medical book that supported this. At the time Caleb and I had no idea why she was showing us that, but we did later. She told me to start treating myself and Lucas for thrush again.

It was Christmas, and no one was really available to get me a prescription. We called a pharmacist in my parent's ward. He said he had never heard of anyone prescribing diflucan for longer than 14 days, that 14 days would definitely take care of it and that I should just keep using the cream I had. (Which I had been using for two months) Now we knew why Lana showed us the reference. No one wanted to prescribe me more than 14 days...so I did the only thing I could. I doctor shopped and got two different prescriptions. This however shook my confidence...I wondered if I really did have thrush. All these other professionals seemed to think that it would have been taken care of with the previous treatment.

I took the 28 days of diflucan and had little relief. At this point I was really doubting if it was thrush. I went back and forth. I was so frustrated. I was tired of being in pain and just wanted someone to tell me what was wrong! I hated nursing...I hated crying and being stressed all the time. I just needed answers.

My friend Lise-Anne knew I was having problems. She text me one day and asked if I wanted to go to a la leche league meeting with her. I did...I needed any help I could get. I went and told my story. i told them how I just wanted someone to tell me what the problem was. I talked with a couple of women afterwards who had both had issues with thrush. They gave me their phone numbers and told me to call anytime. I was so grateful for the support.

One of these women is Mindy...who is now my breast friend. haha. She is also a member of the church so I felt most comfortable reaching out to her. One day I text her after seeing a stupid family doctor who said I should stop breastfeeding. My confidence was completely shaken. She called me, listened to me cry and vent and supported me and said that things will get better. Mindy dealt with thrush for almost five months...and she was a huge help to me.

One night I text her and told her I was ready to give up...she said she was coming over. I told her she really didn't need to but she didn't take no for an answer. She showed up with a loaf of bread, and sat with me as I cried. She asked if it was ok if she looked at my breasts. At this point almost everyone had seen them, so why shouldn't she have a look as well? :) She took one look at me and said, "yep..you have yeast." I felt a wave of relief. Not because I had thrush...but because finally I felt I was getting some answers. She showed me how she could tell. She also helped me latch Lucas on and said it looked perfect. It felt a lot better too...and I think we have yet to get a latch that perfect again. But we are still trying.

It was time to start treatments again. Mindy said she did numerous rounds of Diflucan with no success...that made me feel better and less crazy. I started with gentian violet. It gave me huge relief...but I used it for a week and still had symptoms. It was clear it wasn't going to work. Mindy helped me pick out a good probiotic, which she said would help me as well. I started going to a tanning bed...even though I felt like I was in high school again, sunlight is really supposed to help. And I'm not tanning outside topless in the Canadian winter. :) All these things have seemed to help...but the thrush is smart and is sticking around. I have had numerous breakdowns recently, where i have just cried and cried. Everyone has told me it will get better...but it's been four months...how long does it take?? The cracks in my nipples...well one has turned into more of a hole. I've been pumping on that side to try and heal it...but I'm not sure that's helping.

Yesterday I started on a wheat/sugar/dairy free diet as a last ditch effort to combat this yeast. I will tell you in a few days how it is. :) I am really hoping it works as I am almost out of ideas. Mindy said that she thinks all her treatments helped her, but in the end it was time that she needed in order for her body to balance itself out again. Not what I want to hear!

So if you've read all this you might wonder why I've stuck with breastfeeding. And to be honest...most days I wonder the same thing. I just think in the back of my mind i know if I gave up I would really regret it...something I'm not willing to live with. Also if anything positive has come out of this experience, it's that I now know how much determination I have, and how tough I am. I have honestly surprised myself. Some days I just honestly with I could let myself give up...but something inside me just won't let me. I don't know why.

I could not have made it this far if I did not have the support of my husband. He has had to deal with an emotional mess of a wife for four months. But he has been so amazing to me. He is even doing the diet with me...which I never asked him to do...but that is just him...so supportive. He wanted me to do what is best for me. In the early days, he said, if you want to quit Kailey, you can. I just kept saying "I don't know." As the weeks passed he could tell quitting was not what I wanted to do, so he pushed me to keep going....has let me cry, and lived with a wife who doesn't do much else but survive these days. I don't know what I would have done without him.

I know breastfeeding doesn't work out for everyone, and you would think that going through all this would make me judgmental of those women who do give up...because if i have stuck with it through all this, then why can't they right?? If anything this experience has made me more sympathetic to those women who do throw in the towel. I now realize how not only physically, but mentally taxing it is. We are not all the same, and not everyone would be able to push through this same experience....and I get that. I totally do, and I could never judge anyone for it. I am only doing what deep down I feel is best for me and Lucas, and other women need to do what is best for them.

This experience, if anything, has taught me more about myself than I knew. I have always thought of myself as a quitter. If something is hard, or if I'm not good at it, i usually give up...but that label no longer fits with me. I am so happy to be able to remove that negative thought, and replace it. I am strong....and I am not a quitter.

Although we are not yet through this difficult experience, I have hope that soon....very soon! we will be. And then when we are, i hope I can be that friend that Mindy has been for me. I honestly don't know what I would have done without her. I hope I can support other Mom's who are struggling and need help.

I hope one day I will look back on this and I can think...I did it, I accomplished my goal...I did it.
But for now we are "just doing it."

Lucas' Birth Story

Lucas' birth is already getting fuzzy and I'm starting to forget things! We are so happy to have our little guy here, but I want to remember the whole process...well some things I would like to forget! But here goes nothing. Be warned this is a long post!



On October 31 (Halloween) I woke up at 4am with contractions. I had been wondering and asking people how I would know when I was going into labor, and they always replied, "oh you will know when it's time." I knew that these just weren't cramps and that they indicated that labor was on it's way. I was excited and anxious. I went back to bed and tried to get some more sleep. I resisted waking Caleb to tell him, I knew he would probably need some sleep too! We woke up later, and I told Caleb that we would probably be having a baby soon. He was super excited, and we really didn't know what we should be doing next! I called my Mom and let her know as I wanted her to be at the birth. I told her we still probably had a lot of time, so she said she would get ready, pack, and then be on her way up. Caleb and I timed my contractions on my handy contraction app on my phone. I called my midwife when I had one every 5 minutes, and it had been going on for an hour. She reassured me that we probably still had quite a ways to go, and to call her back in a couple of hours. I did just that, and our midwife Wendy said she was in the area and would stop by to check on me. My mom arrived right after Wendy did. Wendy took me in the bedroom and did an internal check....not comfortable! She seemed suprised to learn that I was 4cm dilated and said i had been doing some good work.



She gave us the option of going to the hospital, or staying home and laboring for a bit longer. We chose to stay at home. She advised us to go take a long walk, and then come home and have a nap as i needed to get some rest as well. It was around supper time, so we went to Wendy's to eat. I had a spicy chicken. :) I remember feeling slightly embarassed having to close my eyes every so often as I had a contraction. I felt like everyone was staring at me, but I really don't think anyone noticed. There I was in labor eating at Wendy's. :)

After that Caleb took us to Nose Hill Park for our walk. Our walk turned into more of long hike! It was for me anyways. I would have to stop and lean on caleb every time i had a contraction. They were getting closer together and more intense. It was windy and cold, and i was done walking long before we were actually done. Caleb was a bit ambitious and took us further than we probably should have gone. Getting back to the car was such a relief!



When we got home I took wendy's advice to have a nap...although I didn't think I would be able to at that point and I was right....I did rest, but couldn't sleep through the contractions. A little while later I hit a turning point. I told Caleb that if I didn't go to the hospital then...I didn't think I would. I knew I could have the baby safely at home with our midwives, but the hospital was our plan and felt we should stick to it. We called our midwife Wendy, and she said if that's what we wanted it wasn't a problem. I have no idea what time we left for the hospital, but it was sometime in the evening.



We got there, Wendy was there as well as a midwifery student Babil. After we got settled Wendy suggested that I go for a walk around the unit. We walked out the door and turned right...inside the room that was there we heard a woman literally screaming her head off! It sounded like she was getting murdered! My midwife quickly redirected us, but caleb and i were both a little freaked out! ha. She checked me when we got back and I was at 6cm. So things were progressing.


The next 12 hours were not fun...although I was not screaming like that lady! My contractions were very intense. Wendy and Babil were great and really helped me through them. I tried to breathe and relax as best I could, but sometimes it was just too much. I think the worst part of the contractions was actually the break in between and anticipating the next one. That's not where my mind probably should have been...but for me the anticipation was the worst! I got in the tub for a while and labored in there...it was nice to be in the warm water for a bit. Caleb and my Mom were also a huge support. They were probably both exhausted too! but stuck with me through the whole thing. My mind had started wandering through this process to pain relief. It was never my intention to use any drugs, and i really wanted a natural birth...but after 24 hours...my mind was definitely going there.

At 4am...after 24 hours of labor, Wendy checked me again. I was hoping for some good news...unfortunately it wasn't. She said "you haven't progressed very much." I asked her how much? She again said, "you haven't progressed very much." I knew she didn't want to tell me. I was still at 6cm. I had been at a 6 for 12 hours. That was so discouraging...and on my mind was just wanting some relief for the pain. I asked her what my options were. She said there was laughing gas, which would not make the pain any less, but I wouldn't care as much about it...so pretty much I wouldn't be all there...and then there was an epidural. Neither of those options sounded ideal to me. Wendy told me that an epidural would allow me to get some rest, because I still needed strength when it came time to push. Wendy didn't push an epidural on me, but I could tell she didn't think it was a bad idea. I talked to Caleb about it for a while. I asked him if he would be dissapointed in me if I got one, he said he wouldn't, but he asked if I would be dissapointed in myself. He didn't want me to regret my decision. I knew it's not ideally what I wanted, but I didn't know if I could do much more without some kind of relief. After going back and forth for a while, I decided to get one. I was scared of the needle, but everything went well. After Wendy said to me "Kailey, when a midwife tells you to get an epidural, you get an epidural." That helped me feel a bit better about my choice, but at that point I was still just so out of it.







After the epidural, the midwives advised me to start on oxytocin, but the very lowest dose to help me dialate. This had already turned into the slippery slope I was fearing, but we did the oxytocin, as it was a very minimal dose of it. For the next while I was able to sleep and get some rest which was so nice. We sent my Mom home to sleep as well. The midwives reassured her that we would let her know when it was time to push and that she would definitely make it in time. One of the other midwives Luba showed up to relieve wendy and babil for a bit. She was my favorite midwife so I was glad she was there. She just has such a gentleness about her, and i always felt most comfortable around her. After a while my epidural had started to wear off and I was feeling contractions again. I got another internal check probably around 1 or 2pm and I was fully dialated! Which meant time to push. At this point I was feeling everything, so I didn't need coaching about when to push as I could feel my contractions, and was also feeling a bit of pressure. We tried a bunch of different pushing positions. At one point they even had a bar set up at the end of the bed so i could squat, it was pretty crazy. They checked where the baby was, and it seemed that the midwives had a hard time figuring out exactly what position his head was in. Pushing was exhausting! I was so so tired, and so I finally asked how long I had been pushing for...two and a half hours. I didn't think it was that long! But my body did...I was so tired.






At this point the midwives told me that they were going to have the OB come in to check the baby's position, as he was not coming down. I agreed, and in came a very young female doctor...i don't know why it suprised me so much! but then an older doctor came in and checked as well. He checked and said he was going to try and turn the baby's head as it was not in the right spot. Again, at this point I could feel everything and this was not very comfortable! He tried and he said the baby's head would slip right back after he turned it. He said that forceps or vaccum could have been an option, but that the baby wasn't low enough for him to do that. I was grateful, and I really did not feel comfortable with either of those. The doctor's left to consult, and at this point I felt myself almost losing control...I was in so much pain and so uncomfortable, I felt like screaming "someone needs to help me now!" But i was able to hold back, and the doctor's fortunately didn't leave for very long. They came back and said that they were going to recommend a c-section. I was upset and dissapointed, but to be honest at this point I just wanted the baby out, and I wanted everything to be over. Caleb was really upset as well..more for me than him as he knew I was so scared of the surgery, and it's not at all what I wanted.
We both were able to pull it together and knew as long as our baby came to us healthy, that was the best thing. It wasn't long before I was crying. I asked my midwife Luba "is this my fault because I got an epidural?" She was so understanding and reassured me that none of this was my fault, that sometimes births don't take the course we want them to, and that the most important thing was getting our baby to us. She said that it was ok to cry, and that it needed to be part of my process, and it was good I was doing it then and not holding it in and holding onto the guilt. She was so reassuring and really helped me work through the whole thing.


The doctor's explained everything to us, I signed some forms and within a few minutes we were in the operating room. throughout this whole thing everyone was so kind and so nice. The anesthesiologist was from Scotland, and his accent was so nice and calming, as my grandparents were from there. He was so kind and helped me through the process. While they were operating on me he would rub my head every once in a while and make sure i was ok...he was just so nice!



We got into the OR, Caleb was with me, and my mom was able to watch through a window...her dream come true! She loves watching surgeries! I was so afraid I was going to be able to feel what they were doing, but I couldn't. I could feel pressure, but no pain. I will have to give Caleb's account of the next part, as I was just laying there on the table. The anesthesiologist told Caleb if he wanted he would tell him when to stand up so that he could watch them take the baby out. Caleb told him that he wanted to watch. A bit later he told Caleb to stand up. The doctor was in the way with her back towards Caleb, and the anesthesiologist told caleb that she would move out of the way when they took him out. Caleb says that he was trying to figure out what she was doing, and that it looked like she was trying to open a jar of something as all of her back muscles were strained. After a bit she gasped and said "I can't do it." They doctors all quickly switched positions and Caleb said that things felt a little bit frantic. They warned us that the doctor's would probably be talking about golf....but this wasn't the case at all. Caleb said that at this point the two female doctors were putting all their body weight pushing on my stomach (i felt like my back was going to break!) and the doctor was trying to pull the baby out. Caleb said all this muscles were shaking. The male doctor couldn't get him out either, and they quickly moved to the vacuum. Caleb said he was vacuumed out by his head and it looked crazy, because the baby looked so big coming out of my stomach, it didn't look like he could have possibly all fit!


They finally had him out. We're still not sure why it was such a struggle for him to come out. I think he must have been stuck somehow in their as his position was off and i was pushing for so long. Also the cord was wrapped around his neck, which might have had something to do as to why he wasn't moving down when I was pushing. But everyone we've talked to has never heard of them using a vacuum for a c-section. He must have been really happy in there! He sure didn't want to come out.



I heard him cry and instantly started crying myself. When they got him out I heard everyone talking about how big he was and Caleb told me that he had lots of dark hair, which I couldn't believe! They weighed him, 9 pounds 8 oz! I heard someone say while they were checking him "he has two eyes, and two chins, two ears..." it was pretty cute. They gave him to Caleb when they were done and Caleb brought him over. What a surreal moment to be able to see my beautiful baby boy. He looked so swollen! But I really couldn't believe he was actually here, and ours. I couldn't wait to hold him. Also at this point caleb said they took out my uterus and it was on my stomach..crazy! They stitched me up and brought me to a little waiting room. They brought in Lucas and Wendy let him breastfeed for a little bit. Still everything was so surreal!






They brought us to our room...we were lucky enough to get a private room! The next afternoon and evening were a blur. I was so exhausted. My Mom left a few hours later, and Caleb stayed and held the baby while I slept on and off. I remember I kept apologizing, and I felt like I should be up with the baby too but I just couldn't help it. Caleb wasn't able to stay over, but I had a fantastic nurse that night. She said they were going to keep him in the nursery overnight, which I remember being a bit sad about, but looking back I'm so grateful they did. I was not with it enough to take care of him. They gave me a shot in my arm that night, and i only know that because of the bruise on my arm! No recollection at all. I do remember throwing up...a lot. Actually throughout my labor i was throwing up until I had nothing left. It just added to the experience. :) They gave me something before the surgery that tasted like concentrated Eno (it`s an antacid if you've never had it) to keep me from throwing up during the surgery...i thought I don't need this, there is nothing left in me! A few hours after the surgery I threw that nasty stuff up...thanks a lot! I felt naseous for quite a while afterwards.








I got a good night's sleep that night though, and they kept us another night. All of our nurses were fantastic...with the exception of one really weird/awful one. They were so helpful and kind. But I really wanted to get out of there and get home. They had a list of tasks I had to do before they'd release me, so I made sure I did them. I had to pee a certain amount, go for a walk around the unit, etc. The doctors stopped by the next morning and cleared us to go home. The next couple hours Caleb and I battled with picking out our baby's name. He was still nameless. We each had a name we were leaning towards, and it was so hard to pick one! We both wanted the other one to be happy, but at the same time were still hanging onto the name we liked best. In the end I won....Lucas. :)




His full name is Lucas Caleb Wilson Lee. Caleb has two middle names, so we wanted to make a tradition and give him two middle names as well.

It was a crazy adventure. When it was all over I told Caleb that Lucas will be an only child. Going through that once was enough! But my midwives reassured me that my next labor and delivery will go much more smoothly. I hope they are right!

I am so grateful that Lucas arrived to us healthy and safely. I am so grateful for a husband who was there and present with me the whole time. Luba commented what an amazing job he did, that most husbands would be passed out sleeping at that point. Luba had to forcefully tell him to go get something to eat after i got the epidural, because he didn't want to leave me. He did such an amazing job and was such a support. I'm also so grateful to my Mom who was there for me as well. I think a lot of the time she was in the corner crying. :) It was hard for her to see me go through everything I did, but I am so thankful she was there and I think it brought us a lot closer.

It was a crazy ride, but well worth it. We sure love our little Lucas and he was worth every second of everything I went through. He is such a good baby and I feel so lucky to be his mother.

Just after we got to the hospital.

Working through a contraction.

This was obviously after my epidural. :)

After the epidural...

But still feeling contractions!

After we were told about the c-section. Oh man we look rough here! It captures pretty well how we were feeling I think!

Caleb ready for the OR

Meeting little Lucas for the first time. I love this picture. I love how it includes my Mom in the background as well. She was so excited. :)





I love you little Lucas...you were worth every second.

Lethbridge Baby Shower

Just playing a bit of catch up here! Last month my sister threw me a baby shower at my Mom's house in Lethbridge. It was so much fun, and I got so many great presents for baby. People were so generous and we are so grateful for everyone's support. My parents bought us a carseat and stroller system, which we were needing and are so happy to have!
Some of my favorite gifts were the homemade ones. Of course my Grandma Porter made baby something. She made him a beautiful sweater, blanket, and the cutest little hat with bunny ears! i can't wait to put it on him! My Mom also made me a baby quilt, and my sister made a beautiful blanket for me as well. I appreciate all the gifts, but those are ones i will always treasure.

We ate delicious cake, and it was so fun to visit with everyone.

Cheryl has already had her baby boy! Jealous! Hopefully I'm up to have mine soon. Only four days until my official due date. I have the feeling I am going to be overdue, so I'm not holding my breath for him to come very soon!

My friend Ashley and some of my Mom's friend stayed later and we just chatted and I have to say it was so fun!

A big thank you to my Mom and sister and Thank you to everyone who came!

oh baby

I think a lot about what our baby will look like. I'm pretty sure he's going to inherit Caleb's blonde hair...I'm pretty sure he will be bald, (sorry baby!) I always envision him as skinny too...maybe just a mini caleb? :)

But one thing I'm hoping he'll inherit of mine is the nose I had when I was a baby, and maybe my juicy lips. Just take a look at that nose and tell me it's not adorable.

(I'm second from the left)



Whatever you look like baby you are sure to be absolutely adorable!

Scott and Stacey

It's official, my little brother is married. Scott married his sweetheart Stacey on September 2, 2011. It was a perfect day. And although everyone is so happy for him, it seems a little sad to have the baby of the family married off already. It seems like he just got home from his mission! But I know him and Stacey are going to be so happy.

The morning of their wedding was overcast and rainy, but by the time they came out of the temple the weather was perfect. The ceremony was beautiful and so special as Stacey's Grandmpa sealed them. I was pretty emotional throughout the whole thing...these pregnancy hormones didn't help! Stacey was teary through most of it, so everytime I looked at her I couldn't help but cry! it was too much for me.

It was such a special day! We are so excited to have a new member of our family. We love you both!

Stacey's dress was gorgeous! I loved it!

Much love to you both!

30 weeks

It's getting a little painful for me to post these belly pics! i made caleb take like twenty pictures of me and still didn't have one i liked...so here you go!

Things are still going well. My feet and ankles if you can tell are getting very swollen. It doesn't really hurt, but they just feel tight a lot of the time. This is one reason I'm grateful to be pregnant during the summer...flip flops and sandals! I'm not sure my feet would fit into anything else at this point.

Only a couple of months left to go and we get to meet our baby! I will be done work in about four weeks hopefully. It will be nice to have a bit of a break because I haven't been sleeping very well lately.

It has been becoming a bit more real to me. I am feeling the baby move all the time now, and sometimes I feel like I can pick out body parts. I will feel a little foot or knee pushing on me, and if we push back he will start to push against our hand. That has been so fun! It makes it seem a lot more real, there is actually a little person in there!

His room is coming along slowly but surely. Our sister in law generously gave us a change table, which we have been painting white. We actually found the crib that I was wanting to get in the states at walmart up here! It's of course $40.00 more, but still pretty reasonable. I'm excited to have everything set up and ready to go!

I think I'm getting to the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy. I am feeling new aches and pains and I'm feeling huge. But it is more than worth it!

Only a couple more months to go!

Brother's Adventure

Bear tracks.

Baby Update

This is me at 27 weeks...a 30 week picture will be coming soon!
My face is looking awfully puffy in this pic!

Yesterday morning Caleb and I went to our appointment with our midwife. We did all the usual stuff, she measured my belly and my measurement is right on. Hooray! One thing I love about my midwives is they never weigh me. :) I guess I should be happy that they aren't too concerned about my weight. Our midwife (Carol) found the baby's head and he is head down with his back against my back. I'm relieved to know he's at least head down because I can not tell at all what position he is in! I thought for the longest time that he was sideways. Turns out he must just have long arms and legs because I get kicked from all angles. She told Caleb where to put his hands to feel the head, and then she let me do it, but I was too freaked out to push too hard! I didn't want to hurt his little head...so i didn't feel too much. But Caleb said that it felt like a bubble.

I was anxiously waiting for my gestational diabetes results. I went in for the test a couple weeks ago. The drink was not as bad as everyone said it was going to be, but I did feel nauseous and so tired soon after I drank it. When the nurse was taking my blood she asked if I had low blood pressure, i said no i didn't, but that I might pass out! I am not a fan of having my blood taken as I get pretty queasy, but this is the closest I have ever been to passing out during it. I was able to go home and get in a really quick nap before I went back to work which helped a bit. I got the results yesterday and I passed! I was so nervous about it, because I didn't know if I could handle a second test, and have to fast for it. So that was a big relief. I also still don't have syphilis! ha! They are making everyone retest for it....not sure why. Pretty sure if I had syphilis I would know...and I would have to do some explaining to Caleb. :)

We listened to baby's heartbeat and everything sounded great. She asked about us taking prenatal classes and we told her that we had been doing hypnobirthing. Carol said that is perfect as a prenatal class and she has had clients in the past use it and do very well in their labour. She said that our mind and thoughts have a lot to do with how labour goes and progresses, everything else is pretty much out of our control. So if we can control our minds, it sometimes helps things go a lot more smoothly. Here's hoping it will work for me! I feel i need a lot more practice with it.

Apparently I have "white coat syndrome". Carol said when I'm there my blood pressure goes up a bit. Hopefully I can get over that for the birth!

All in all things are going great. I can't believe I only have 10 weeks left! The time is flying by!! We still have some work to do on the nursery...we still need a crib! Any Moms have recommendations for things that we will need? I know baby's don't need much, but I'm lost as to what I should be getting ready ahead of time. I'm hoping to end work at the end of September to have some time to get the house ready, make freezer meals, and get some sleep in before it's too late!

We can't wait to meet you baby!

Wicked

Quite a few months ago Caleb and I bought tickets to go see the broadway show Wicked. A friend of mine got a giant group of people together to buy tickets so we could get the group rate. I had to get in on it. I haven't read the book...i really wanted to before we went! But Caleb has, and i had heard such great things about the show.

Beforehand we went for dinner at a french restaraunt called Saint Germain. I had a groupon for it, so it was a great chance to use it up. Caleb had duck, i had a steak...i admit i was bad and had it pretty rare, but it was so delicious i couldn't send it back...i just kept eating. We also had fries and mayo to share. It was a fantastic and delicious dinner.

The show was amazing! We had great seats, and the show went by so quickly, it was over before i knew it. The woman that played Glinda was hilarious! We were laughing throughout the whole show. Only complaint is that the theatre was super hot for some reason! Which was not fun for this pregnant lady.

Although it's difficult for me to post the following pictures, i'm going to swallow my pride and do it. I am looking just a tiny bit more chubby than ususal. :)

It was a fantastic date night!

27 weeks!

I am 27 weeks pregnant today. 7 months, and only three left to go! I would take a belly picture, but Caleb is away in vernon still...maybe tomorrow? I realized I haven't documented too much about my pregnancy, and thought that i should in case some day I want to look back and remember all this!

I can't believe how fast the time has flown. It is hard to imagine that in three months we will have a little baby...really how do you wrap your head around that? I am feeling this little guy move so much lately. From the first time I felt him move it has always been very strong kicks, he's got some muscles! His movements have been so strong that sometimes they startle me and make me jump! I love laying in bed with caleb with his hand on my belly and having him feel the baby move...not much is better than that. He is much more active when i want to sleep! But I hear that's pretty normal.

A few weeks ago I have started to get some pain in my upper ribs. I am convinced it's not him kicking me because the pain is up so high, I think it must be things in my body shifting around. the pain is worse if i'm sitting down for long periods of time, which has made work a bit difficult. My feet and ankles have also started swelling! they look awful!! Hopefully it's not permanent!

Probably the craziest thing has been seeing my belly button change. I have always had a very deep innie, and to actually be able to see the bottom of my belly button has been so strange! I seriously comment on it all the time and I think Caleb must think I'm crazy.

I have gained quite a bit of weight...i've stopped weighing myself because I don't think I need the unecessary psychological damage of seeing the number on the scale. I have to admit i probably have been eating a lot more than I need to. Gaining the weight has probably been one of the most difficult parts for me, but definitely is worth it, and I have to keep telling myself that I can loose the weight after...so i need to stop worrying about it! Right?

Caleb has been amazing. So supportive and helpful. Always picking things up off the floor for me, :) getting me glasses of water, and taking over a lot of the housework. I appreciate his help so much. He never complains about it either. He is always talking to the baby and rubbing my belly. When he goes away he says that he will miss me, but he'll also miss the baby. I love that he's already so involved.

Caleb and I also decided to take hypnobirthing courses. I have wanting been researching the positives to a natural childbirth long before I was pregnant, and it's something I feel will be best for me. These courses have helped me to feel more confident in my ability to do so. For more info check out this link.
Caleb says it has been really helpful for him in feeling less fearful about the experience of birth, and it has been great for me as well. It's refreshing to be able to talk about childbirth, and take out the idea of fear, and not having to hear all the horror stories that people love to share. I still have a lot of practice to do with my relaxation techniques, but i'm hoping the course will help me through the birthing process.

Overall, this has been such an amazing experience. I can't quite wrap my head around the idea that there is actually a little baby in my stomach! I already love him so much, and am getting so excited to meet him!
We love you baby!

Babymoon

Caleb and I both love to travel.
His job has given us many amazing opportunities to do so. With me being pregnant and all, we will probably have less chances to get away as just the two of us in the near future. While I was still at work part-time, it worked us for us to do a last minute get away. We went to a resort in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. I went to the MTC there, but had never gotten to experience the beaches! It was our first time doing all inclusive, and it was well worth it! It was such a relaxing trip, not having to worry about anything. The weather was hot and perfect, and it was so nice to get away and relax. Babymoon success!

Windsurfing was actually one of the free activities at the resort. I didn't go obviously, but Caleb got a lesson and although he said it was really difficult I thought he did pretty well!

Most of our time was spent between the pool and the beach. We had to wake up early to get spots by the pool in the shade, but it was well worth it as we would have burnt to a crisp without them! Our main activities were reading, swimming, and going to the grill by the buffet for delicious chicken!

We usually went to this bar while waiting to get into whichever restaurant we had chosen that night. They had a buffet and four different restaurants, french, asian, american steakhouse, and italian, and they didn't do reservations for them so we usually we waiting for a bit if we didn't get there early. We had the same server who would make us these delcious non-alcoholic drinks because I told her I was pregnant. Yum!!

Us at the asian restaurant.

We also spent a lot of time eating Mangoes! We had to get them early, because later in the day they would all be gone. Soooooooo delicious!

Taking out the catamarans was also free. I was a little freaked out to take it out, but felt reassured when we went out and the water stayed very shallow. It was so fun! I guess we only had half an hour, which they failed to tell us, so we brought it back late. Oops!!

We had an amazing time! Only complaint is that I wish it was longer! Thanks baby for giving us a reason to go on vacation!