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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Birth Story of Minnie May

It would be impossible for me to write about this birth without reflecting on Lucas’ birth. It was not a very pleasant experience, and had led me to fear birth. I was in labor with Lucas from start to finish 38 hours. 20 of those hours were active labor. I pushed for 3 and a half hours, which was unproductive as he didn’t descend. After all that I ended up having a c-section which Lucas was vacuumed out of. It took me quite a while to recover physically and mentally. It was not the natural birth I had planned. Even so Lucas came out healthy, and it was all worth it. 

                When I found out I was pregnant again, I really didn’t think about labor or birth for quite a while...I think I was avoiding it. My midwives reassured me over and over that I was a great candidate for a vbac, and that everything was going to be just fine. They said because I dilated to a 10 with Lucas, they had no doubts that this next birth would be vaginal and smooth sailing. Choosing a repeat c-section didn’t really even cross my mind. I was terrified of going through everything I did with Lucas all over again, but I am a little crazy I guess and wanted my natural birth! I knew for me and for my baby I wanted to try for a vbac. I tried so hard to believe my midwives, and as my due date crept closer, fears and traumatic memories started to flood my mind. I didn’t have much trust in my body, and feared the worst. I sought for support from some online groups, and even attended a full day workshop to help women work through birth trauma. Those things helped...but I still had those doubts.

                My due date was December 8th, and I was fully intending to be late, as Lucas was a week late. I was hoping she would come early, but tried to prepare myself to be overdue. November 30th, I started having a lot of Braxton hicks. I hadn’t had them at all the whole pregnancy, and at one point during the day they became painful and consistent. I drank some water, laid down to see if they would intensify or go away. They died down...and I have to say I was very disappointed! The contractions continued and at times were again painful. There was a snowstorm on it’s way. I also thought I was leaking amniotic fluid...but wasn’t sure! I didn’t want my Mom to be stuck and to miss everything, so after going back and forth forever, Caleb told me just to call her. I did, and she said she would be on her way up. She arrived later in the evening. She slept on the couch and I slept on the recliner. (carpal tunnel is fun!) I had about an hour of pretty painful contractions and even started timing them. I decided to stop and to just try and get some sleep. If this was the real thing, I would need it. Turns out they again didn’t progress. The next couple of days I had very inconsistent contractions. They were still painful, so I was hoping they were doing something, but eventually they stopped altogether. I was so disappointed. My Mom decided to go home on the 3rd , and joked that I would probably be calling her later that day. Turns out she was right. 

                Caleb and I went to bed that evening, I couldn’t sleep and around 11pm got out of bed as I was having contractions again and couldn’t sleep. I sent my friend Mindy a text and asked if she would be on call for the night. If we needed to leave quickly, I needed someone to stay with Lucas. She said she would and I was grateful for her help. I stayed up watching tv and was on facebook. I didn’t wake Caleb because I had been having contractions for days that turned out to be nothing, and I wasn’t even sure myself if this was the real thing. They started to get more painful....but I still wasn’t convinced! It was probably sometime around 1am that I got Caleb up as I was in a lot of pain. He asked if we should call the midwives, I hesitantly called. I didn’t want to wake them up for nothing. I have an app on my phone that I was timing my contractions with...turns out it kind of sucked as it just tracked averages! I called the midwives, and Carol answered. She asked me how far apart my contractions were and I said 4 or 5 minutes I thought. Well while talking with her I had two really bad contractions that I had to breath through, and she told me they were only two minutes apart and I needed to get to the hospital. I told her I needed to call Mindy, and it might be a bit before she could get to my house. She said to call her back when we were about to leave the house. 

                I phoned Mindy and she said she would need to nurse her baby and then would be on her way. Caleb and I started packing last minute things in our hospital bag, and he kept asking me if we needed anything else. Mindy showed up a lot faster than I thought she would, and I am grateful she did! She came in, gave me a hug, and I instantly started crying. She asked me what was wrong and I said I was scared. She asked of birth or having a newborn again...I said of the birth! I remember thinking through those few hours that I must just be being a wimp. That with Lucas I did 38 hours of labor, and I was so afraid of what laid ahead of me. I didn’t think I could do it for that much longer, and was in a lot of pain. Mindy reassured me that everything was going to be fine. I called my Mom and let her know what was going on. 

                The car ride to the hospital was awful! We had tons of snow, and the roads were so bumpy. Having contractions sitting down in the car was probably the most horrible thing ever. I wanted to stand up so badly. Poor Caleb had to listen to my screaming. He was a good coach, and said to just let it all out. I told him I didn’t think I could do this, and he told me a few times that I needed to be kind to myself and tell myself that I could do it. 

                We got to the hospital. Caleb dropped me off and went and parked the car. I labored in the entrance while a couple people had to watch me pace and moan through contractions. Ha ha. Caleb came in and we went up to the unit. Carol was there to meet us. She told me to get on the bed so she could check me. I was so scared that I hadn’t progressed much and that I would be discouraged. She checked me and said, “’re at an 8.” I said really??? I couldn’t believe it. It was very encouraging, and I hoped that things would keep progressing. Carol went and started filling up the tub so I could labor in the water. After, she had me get up and stand at the edge of the room so I could stand over the counter. Carol left the room for something. I looked down and saw fluid dripping on the I saw that I had probably one of the most intense moments of my life. I felt myself loosing control...I felt baby drop, and then had the uncontrollable urge to push. I told Caleb I needed to push, and started freaking out asking where Carol was. Caleb went to go look for her and couldn’t find her. When he got back, she was back in the room. I started screaming and saying “I need something!” In that moment I had no idea how I was going to go on without an epidural, it all seemed like way too much. Carol got right in my face...I think she may have even grabbed my face! And said “Kailey, stop screaming. What you need is to have this baby.” She was very firm with me, but I needed it. It helped focus me and calm me down. She told me to get on the bed, and she would get me the gas. At this point I threw up, I was so scared I was going to throw up all over her! I had some more contractions and Carol got close to me and told me to breathe them away. 

                She got the gas set up. I can’t remember if she checked me again, but because the second midwife hadn’t shown up yet, she instructed Caleb to hold my other leg. It was time to start pushing.  I told Carol I was scared. She said that was normal, and that things were going fast so it was normal to be having a lot of intense feelings! This was the stage of labor I was most fearful of, but in the end was not as bad as I thought it would be. It felt so good to push! Wendy showed up soon after I started to push. I was happy to see her, as she was the midwife I had for Lucas’ delivery. I pretty much growled every time I pushed. I had my eyes closed almost the whole time, the few times I opened my eyes I looked up at Caleb, and his eyes were bugging out of his head! And he kept saying oh my gosh! It was weirdly reassuring, because I knew something was happening. My midwives were so encouraging and kept telling me how amazing I was doing. Caleb said at this point, when baby started crowning, he thought to himself, “I can’t believe Kailey is going to have another c-section, because there’s no way a baby is going to fit through there.” Ha ha. I had been pushing for a bit, then my midwives told me frantically to stop pushing! I told them, “I’m trying!” Afterwards they told me baby was almost out, and they applied counter pressure to stop me from tearing. It was almost impossible to stop pushing, but they said I did a good job.

Close to the end of things I remember saying out loud, “I can do it, I can do it” A couple more big pushes, and baby came out. I looked down and it took a minute for them to bring her up to me. I honestly can’t even remember what my first thoughts were, I was in complete shock. I could not believe I had pushed out a baby, and I could not believe I did it without any drugs! They brought baby up and laid her on my chest. A few minutes later they had Caleb cut the cord. She was so cute, and the midwives kept talking about how big she was, and that I did an amazing job. I was so curious to see what she weighed! They eventually took her over to weigh her. She was 8lbs 10oz....almost a pound smaller than Lucas, and her head was 38 cm...huge! My midwives couldn’t believe I got her out so fast. When she came out the cord was around her neck twice, and around her body once. I guess they had to kind of somersault her out, and because of that I had a minor second degree tear which required some stitches. My midwives said if that hadn’t happened I probably wouldn’t have torn at all. In total my labor was about 5 hours, 3 of those were active, and I only pushed for half an hour. Such a crazy difference from Lucas! The midwives said I was meant to birth babies and for my next one I’d better get to the hospital asap...I said, what next baby?! Ha ha

I latched Minnie on to nurse, and she had a good nurse. After that my midwives took us to the bath, and got us both cleaned up. It was so nice to have a bath with her! The midwives worked on the paperwork, while Caleb and I ogled our baby girl. When they were done I got dressed, put Minnie in her car seat, they put me in the wheelchair and we were on our way! Because there were no issues, and the midwives can discharge you, they don’t make you stay. I was so grateful for that. I hate the hospital! 

Caleb warmed up the car, we got Minnie in and drove home. My Mom had gotten to our house a few hours earlier to relieve Mindy and was asleep on the couch when we walked in. She told us later that when she heard us come in, she thought it must have been just Caleb picking something up we forgot. She was so surprised when I was with him, and we had our baby too. She couldn’t believe how fast it was and that we were already sent home. We got home just in time for Lucas to wake up. I was happy for that because I was worried about him being concerned or scared that we weren’t home when he woke up. What a way to wake a brand new little sister. He really wasn’t sure what was going on. Seemed to like her, but wasn’t too interested in her. He was happy to have Grandma around though. My Mom stayed for the week and I don’t know what we would have done without her! It was so nice to have her help. Caleb’s parents came the weekend after to meet our little girl. 

That in a nutshell is the birth of our precious Minnie May. It was so much different than I had been preparing myself for. The days and weeks that followed I couldn’t stop thinking about the birth. Don’t know if that is a sign of trauma or what! But it just all seemed so surreal. It happened so fast. But of course it was all worth it, and we love our sweet little girl. 

Here are the few blog appropriate photos I have. :) 

Sunday, June 2, 2013


It's true. We are expecting baby number two in December! My official due date is December 8th, but I'm trying to not pay to much attention to that as I just expect I'll be late with this baby as well. Baby will come when it's ready!

For a long time after Lucas was born I honestly thought he would be an only child. My delivery was rough, and being a Mom was a huge adjustment for me. On top of that was issues with breastfeeding for almost six months. It was a lot. I was happy with just Lucas. I felt like he was enough.

Until one day I got the itch I thought I wouldn't get back. I felt like Lucas needed a sibling...even though I was terrified to do it all over again! (still am!) You tend to forget certain things, and we started trying again.

Our first month trying I thought I was pregnant. I didn't want to put too much hope into it, or really admit it, because I just knew I would be disappointed. It took us almost a year to get pregnant with Lucas. Still in the back of my head there was that thought. The waiting is the worst part! I counted the days until I could take a pregnancy test. I took one, a few days before my period was supposed to come, early in the morning. I put it on the counter and waited those few dreadful minutes. I couldn't wait any line. My experience with pregnancy tests told me another line was not going to show up on that test if I just waited longer. I was disappointed for sure, yet knew it was going to take us some time.

Fast forward a few days, and it was Easter Sunday. No sign of my period....and I just had this gut feeling again. I don't think I told Caleb what I was running to the store for (i could not wait until Monday to get a test!) I went to Walmart, came home, made a b line for the bathroom, and took another test. I set it on the counter, and this time watched as a second faint line appeared!! I was excited, and also hesitant because of our past experience with a miscarriage. I came out of the bathroom, showed Caleb and we hugged and laughed, and then didn't know what to do with ourselves! It seems like such a momentous occasion, but what do you do to celebrate in that moment??

We called our families and announced it to them. They were all thrilled.The weeks passed...I got my first ultrasound and everything looked great! I was finally able to relax. I have been sick, and super tired, which makes working full time not fun. But I think I am finally starting to get better?? Fingers crossed.

 Lucas will be 25 months when this baby is born and I have to admit I am anxious about the whole thing. I have no idea what to expect, and I am scared of the whole birthing process due to my last experience. I am not looking forward to the sleepless nights, and on top of that a toddler. At least I have a few more months to prepare. :)

We had our first ultrasound last week. Caleb and Lucas met me there and I came from work. Lucas was super concerned as they were doing the ultrasound and came and stood by me and talked to me for a good chunk of the time. It was sweet. A little baby appeared on the screen, the tech found the heartbeat and then reality hit! We are having a baby!! Everything looks fantastic and we go back in about a month to find out the sex. I can't wait! My gut is telling me it's a boy, but we will see. I will be thrilled with either a boy or a girl.

Here's a couple pictures of baby.

Any advice you have for a second time mom is more than welcome. I will need it!!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Easter 2013

Our Easter this year was pretty low key. We like to visit family over the holiday, but this year due to Caleb's work schedule we stayed close to home. I had been researching fun things we could do together, and I found out about an huge Easter Egg hunt held in Airdrie every year by a local church.

We suited up to go Sunday morning, and it really was huge! There were tons of people there, lots of volunteers, music, bouncy houses, free hot chocolate and donughts. It was impressive!

They had two separate egg hunt areas, one for older kids, and one for the little ones which was nice. It wasn't so much of a hunt, as volunteers running around throwing handfuls of eggs on the ground. Then all the kids would swarm, and grab them up. We had to help Lucas a lot but he got the hang of it really quickly! He was a lot slower than most of the older kids, but managed to get quite a few eggs in his basket. He had a super fun time. It was adorable, and so fun to watch him! He was not happy at all when we left.

We came home, and let Lucas open his Easter basket.
He got a bunch of food pouches. (which he still loves!)


And some little wind up toys which were a hit.

I love this picture of him!

Then we all got ready for church and took some pictures.

So the funny thing about his Easter outfit, is I bought it for him last year! Ha. My mother in law bought him an outfit last year too and I didn't know about it so he wore that one instead. He was such a huge baby and growing out of things so fast I got him 12 to 18 month clothes...and they fit him perfectly this year. His weight gain has slowed down a bit. :) I miss my fat baby though!
Love my happy boy!

We had a fantastic quiet Easter together. I couldn't ask for anything more than spending it with my two favorite boys.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Christmas 2012: Part Two

Christmas morning was amazing. I think we all slept in until 9, including Lucas. The perks of having an "adult" Christmas. Caleb's two older sister spent their Christmas together so that left the rest of us adults and Lucas. Lucas didn't complain about all the attention he got. He was sure loved.

We opened out stockings, which is my favorite part of Christmas morning. Lucas was mostly entertained by the oranges.

But he also got some other goodies. Which included some little cars, books, a puzzle, pj's, and these cute crayons.
Sharing his new book with Uncle Zach.

Our little family Christmas morning. My T shirt isn't in the shot which is a shame! Caleb and I exchanged PJ's the night before and with mine came a custom made t-shirt. It has a breastfeeding symbol on it and says Eat Local. Perfect gift for a lactavist. :) It was really so sweet, and he said he wanted to give me something to commemorate my hard work and dedication. I have the greatest husband ever.
We lounged the rest of the day, and then got everything ready for dinner. Everything was delicious!

 We had a fantastic Christmas spend with those that we love! And Kyle.....hahaha.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Christmas 2012 Part One

Caleb and I swap years for Christmas. One year is with mine, the next with his. But we always try to make it to see both families over the holidays. I don't know how long we'll be able to keep it up. It's getting a little hectic! Since this year was our year in Vernon we headed to Lethbridge before Christmas to see my family. I weirdly only have these two pictures to document it.

Even though we are lacking pictures it was good to be able to see my family even though it wasn't my year. 
We usually fly to Vernon since we still have westjet perks, and I absolutely hate the drive in the winter. But getting closer to Christmas we discovered that all the flights were sold out. Our decision was made for us and we geared up to drive. I was really worried how Lucas would do and kept telling Caleb that I thought we should buy a portable DVD player. I packed up a big bag of toys and food, and I was pleasantly surprised. Lucas did amazing. He was awake for a big portion of the trip and didn't fuss very much at all. I felt like crying for a lot of it...have I mentioned that the drive freaks me out!! But we eventually made it to Vernon safe and sound.

We set up a playdate with Megan and Andrew and our little friend Harper. It was good to catch up with friends! 

Lucas and his cousin Oliver. I think that when these two get older they will be great friends and get into all kinds of trouble together. :) 

Lucas enjoyed Grandma's piano very much. A little Beethoven.
We played a lot of games during our time there! I am usually not much of a games person, but I forced myself to participate this year and I'm glad I did. I had a lot of fun. So did Lucas.

Christmas eve we played games, ate tons and tons of food, and waited for Santa to arrive with a special delivery. Knowing how much Lucas likes Santa, I was a little worried for him.

He was hesitant to say the least. Just stared and stared at Santa.

He was put on Santa's lap and that's when the tears began. He was one unhappy guy!!

Santa's bell couldn't even distract him.

Santa's peace offering of a present still didn't calm him down. Poor guy!

Dad eventually came to the rescue. :)
He was then pleasantly surprised with his new monkey sock PJ's.

It was time for bed, so he read a Christmas story with Dad and was tucked in by Mom. He probably had nightmares of Santa that night! The adults stayed up for some more food and game playing!